Hello my dear, devoted and neglected blog readers (However few you may be!)
Firstly, my apologies for not updating….I know you’ve been wanting a Vegas recap, particularly about my adventures at VLV..one will come, when things settle down. I promise!
For now, it is late and my ovaries are cramping my style so to speak ...I have tried Midol PM, and admittedly, I currently occupy a somewhat altered reality.
Of course, this means I’m going to write about men’s personal hygiene products.
I randomly decided to Google-search the ingredients to my significant other’s body wash. Since we tend to have a rather vigorous ..ahem… intimate understanding of each other …on a daily basis....ahem...I am of course concerned with what may be lingering around on skin that may happen to wind up in my own body. Legitimate concern with the amount of icky chemicals on the market today, right?
Well I have been side -tracked by Old-Spice’s ballsy (pun intended) advertisements.
I present to you, dear readers, the “Deck Scubber” :
Firstly, my apologies for not updating….I know you’ve been wanting a Vegas recap, particularly about my adventures at VLV..one will come, when things settle down. I promise!
For now, it is late and my ovaries are cramping my style so to speak ...I have tried Midol PM, and admittedly, I currently occupy a somewhat altered reality.
Of course, this means I’m going to write about men’s personal hygiene products.
I randomly decided to Google-search the ingredients to my significant other’s body wash. Since we tend to have a rather vigorous ..ahem… intimate understanding of each other …on a daily basis....ahem...I am of course concerned with what may be lingering around on skin that may happen to wind up in my own body. Legitimate concern with the amount of icky chemicals on the market today, right?
Well I have been side -tracked by Old-Spice’s ballsy (pun intended) advertisements.
I present to you, dear readers, the “Deck Scubber” :
“Gets Rid of Dirt, Odor and Barnacles”
“An experienced seaman knows the gentler sex is unlikely to board a vessel whose deck, galley, and undercarriage has not been scrubbed as clean as the shiny inside part of an oyster shell. This Old Spice Deck Scrubber gets rid of dirt, odor and barnacles, working harder than lazy soap and lathering way better than just your hand alone. So start scrubbing, sailors, and don’t forget to wash behind your everything”
(via http://www.oldspice.com/products/product/97/Old_Spice_Deck_Scrubber/)
Really, Old-Spice? Barnacles?
Barnacles are annoying little creatures that get into moist areas and like to stick around, dearest Old-Spice.
They are technically categorized as fouling (“the undesirable accumulation of microorganisms on a wet surface“, should you be too lazy to Wikipedia-search it)…
Essentially, barnacles are the herpes of the sea.
So…am I correct in my assumption that this dick…err…“deck” scrubber , removes a particularly nasty little STI?
Now I can’t help but picture particularly promiscuous men, feverishly scrubbing their dirty “decks” with glorified lady-puffs.
So, in conclusion, I’m lead to believe that Old Spice’s man-detailer and Deck-Scrubber are essentially shower-puffs of justice...crotch-justice.
Essentially, barnacles are the herpes of the sea.
So…am I correct in my assumption that this dick…err…“deck” scrubber , removes a particularly nasty little STI?
Now I can’t help but picture particularly promiscuous men, feverishly scrubbing their dirty “decks” with glorified lady-puffs.
So, in conclusion, I’m lead to believe that Old Spice’s man-detailer and Deck-Scrubber are essentially shower-puffs of justice...crotch-justice.
Go justice-puffs.
