Cooking with Lenora turns Eat-A Von Teese

Hello bunnies!!!

I have decided to dedicate a space away from my personal blog for my cooking entries.

http://eatavonteese.blogspot.com/

Feel free to follow!
Please be patient while I make it pretty! Fancy banner coming soon!

xox
Lenora

Cooking with Lenora! Comfort-food!

Hello bunnies and welcome once again to my kitchen!

Todays segment of Cooking with Lenora is slightly less snazzy than normal. It is terribly snowy and cold outside, and Nick and I wanted something warm and comforting for supper.

Warm and comforting spells CHILI AND CORNBREAD!

For those of you who make chilli, you know it is just a hodgepodge of whatever is in your pantry. I will still provide you with a basic recipe, but know that I usually deviate from it, with many substitutes and improvisations.

Let us begin!

Todays frock- pinstriped 1930s reproduction dress by the amazing lady at Hissy Fit on Etsy. (http://www.etsy.com/shop/hissyfitoly )

Todays menu- Lenora’s Extra Meaty Three -Bean 911 Chilli , with gluten-free cheesy jalapeno cornbread.

Todays apron- vintage black and blue ruffle ,with “Tea for Two” and a teapot embroidered on it.

Todays Cooking Companion Cocktail- Lime Fizz (white rum, fresh lime juice, seltzer, a dash of grenadine and of course, extra cherries!!)


I didn’t take many photos today, but really, I’m making chilli, not a fancy soufflé , so over-documenting the steps is pointless.

On to the recipes!

Lenora Le Noire’s Extra Meaty Three -Bean 911 Chilli

(keep in mind all ingredients are approximate )
1 large package of extra-lean ground beef
2 sirloin steaks, chopped into bite-size cubes.
2 fresh jalapenos
2 white onions
1 large green pepper
6-10 cloves of garlic , minced (We really like garlic…use less if you don’t)
2 tbsp. olive oil
2-4 tbsp. low sodium chilli powder
2-4 tbsp red pepper flakes (depending how spicy you like it! I use 4)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 can each or 1 cup dried of each- red kidney beans, black beans, chickpeas. ( I used canned this time around)
1 large can chopped tomatoes
2-3 small cans tomato paste
Fresh chopped mushrooms, or 2 cans mushroom pieces ( Chilli is one of the few dishes where I prefer canned mushrooms)
A few dashes of your favourite hot sauce.


In an extra large pot, heat your olive oil on medium heat.

Add steak and ground beef, red pepper flakes, and onion. (I marinated the steak cubes for a few hours in olive oil, red wine , chopped onion and garlic to make it extra tender, and drained the marinade before adding the steak to the pot).

Stir frequently until meat is nice and brown. If you find there is too much fat, feel free to drain some.
Add chilli powder and stir.
Add jalapeno, green pepper, and garlic. Cook until veggies are tender, stirring often.

Add canned tomatoes and tomato paste. Stir well and let simmer for 5-10 minutes.

Taste test- if you want more spice, now is the time to add it. I usually add a few dashes of hot sauce at the point, with salt and pepper.

Drain your mushrooms and beans and add them to the pot ( if using canned beans, be sure to rinse them well before adding them to the chilli)

Simmer for another few minutes, et voila! Chili is finished!!

This makes a ridiculous amount of chilli, by the way! We freeze several portions for quick lunches or dinners when I’m feeling too lazy to cook. I love having chilli on hand to make delicious nachos!

Lenora’s Cheesy Gluten-Free Jalapeno Cornbread
¾ cup cornmeal
1 ¼ cup milk
1 cup all purpose gluten-free flour mix
1/3rd cup sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 egg
¼ cup vegetable oil
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1 fresh jalapeno, thinly sliced
Green onions, chopped

Preheat oven to 400 degrees (200 C)

Combine milk and cornmeal, and let stand while you prepare the rest of the ingredients.

Combine dry ingredients, mix well.

In separate bowl, combine egg, vegetable oil, and chopped green onions.
Combine wet ingredients with milk and cornmeal mixture.
Add to dry ingredients and mix well.
Add ¾ cup cheddar cheese to batter.

Pour mixture into a well-greased pyrex dish or square cake pan. ( I used a square pyrex dish)
Arrange thinly sliced jalapenos on top of the batter, and top with the remaining cheese.

Bake for 15-20 mins

Serve your delicious comfort food, and enjoy!


Simple as that, bunnies!

Cheers!

XOX Lenora

Cooking with Lenora! As always, gluten-free and sassy!

Hello bunnies and welcome to another addition of Cooking with Lenora!


Firstly, I thought I’d mention all of my cooking is gluten-free! After many months of jumping through medical hoops, I’ve recently found out I’ve been suffering from celiac disease. Luckily, I possess decent cooking and baking skills, so converting my cooking repertoire hasn’t been much of a chore. Hopefully some celiac sufferers will find my blog and be inspired to try some new recipes!


Secondly, I’d like to say thank you to all of my wonderful followers. Your kind words and support mean so much to me! Thank you, also, for being patient with me as I get everything off the ground. I’m still working out kinks in eventually filming my food blogs. For now, written blogs will have to do!


On with the cooking!


Today’s menu

Main dish- Tangy and spicy lemon, garlic &red pepper chicken breasts, stuffed with mushrooms and just a pinch of fresh parmesan.

Side dish- Quinoa and sweet pear salad with a maple balsamic vinaigrette. The salad also features unsalted toasted cashews, baby spinach, chickpeas, cherry tomatoes and cucumber .


Today’s helper- My handsome man, Nick. He chopped up the garlic- a task I dislike!

Nick says " I poison your food, yesss" In a russian accent

Today’s apron- Vintage blue cotton number with cherries!

Todays cooking- companion cocktail- Sparkly Screwdriver (Orange juice, vodka, soda water) with cherries, of course! Nick's beverage is a Dark n Stormy- ginger beer with dark spiced rum.



Lets get started!!!



Stuffed lemon, garlic &red pepper chicken breasts


You will need:


2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
4 tbsp olive oil
The juice of 1 lemon
3 garlic cloves , minced.
2 tsp red pepper flakes
1 handful sliced mushrooms
Fresh parmesan to taste
Fresh cracked black pepper and salt to taste
Medium sized pyrex dish
Tinfoil



Preheat oven to 400 C



Combine olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, red pepper flakes , salt and pepper in pyrex dish. Mix well.


Slice into chicken breasts, as if you were cutting a submarine sandwich, but don’t cut all the way through. As you can see I did this pretty sloppily… I was hungry and in a rush. Don’t judge!

Stuff in some mushrooms, and a sprinkle of parmesan if you’d like , and “close” the chicken back up.



Place chicken into pyrex dish with olive oil and spices. Spoon some of the mixture over the top of the chicken. If you’d like it with a little extra spice, sprinkle some more red pepper flakes ontop of the chicken.



Cover pyrex dish with tinfoil and bake for 45 minutes.



I removed the chicken at 40 minutes, sprinkled with a little extra cheese, and broiled for the last 5 minutes to make the cheese a bit crispy.


Quinoa and sweet pear salad with maple balsamic dressing.

You will need:

1 cup quinoa (I use Bulk Barn's dried organic quinoa)
½ cup chilled chickpeas
1 large sweet pear- peeled, cored and chopped
1 handful cherry tomatoes.
½ cucumber, chopped
2 handfuls baby spinach
¼ cup of unsalted roasted cashews (or any other nuts. Pecans or pine nuts are also great!)
For the dressing:
3 tbsp. olive oil
3 tbsp. gluten-free organic balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp. pure maple syrup (don’t use that crappy fake overly sugary Aunt Jemima stuff, it is too thick and will ruin your salad. I use President’s Choice pure maple syrup, it is light perfect for this. If you can’t find pure maple syrup- go without!)


Cook your quinoa! I used 1 cup quinoa added to 2 ½ cups of boiled water ,simmered for 20 minutes, stirring often, until all of the water has absorbed. Remove from heat, cover and let sit while you chop your veggies.

Once everything is chopped, add to large salad bowl.
Dump your quinoa into a strainer and run under cold water for a few minutes. Shake it about to make sure all the water is out.
Add the quinoa to your chopped veggies.


In small bowl mix your olive oil, maple syrup and balsamic vinegar.


Add dressing to salad, and toss well.

Plate chicken and salad, serve and enjoy!!





Before I bid you all adieu and bonne-appetite, I want to give a quick shout-out to my lovely, talented and kind friend Lisa over at Weezi Clothing!


check her site here http://www.weezi.com/


For those of you looking for cute retro aprons , beautiful retro dresses, or some enviro-friendly upcycled kitschy pieces like bags- check out Weezi at http://www.etsy.com/shop/Weezi Tell em Lenora sent ya!

Until next time!!!



XOXO Lenora XOXOX

the kind words of friends, and older installements of Cooking with Lenora!

Hello bunnies!

Just a quick post to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! To Miss Lisa over at Weezi Clothing for posting a wonderful write-up on my Cooking with Lenora entries.

Check it out here- http://theweezistore.blogspot.com/

Also, be sure to check out her Etsy shop for your very own retro apron!!


Also, while you wait for more segments of Cooking with Lenora, here are a couple of past pseudo-"episodes" that I posted on my Tumblr.


http://lenoralenoire.tumblr.com/post/2817941478

and
http://lenoralenoire.tumblr.com/post/2731958840


Until next time, bunnies

XOXO
Lenora

Cooking with Lenora!!!

Hello bunnies and welcome to my kitchen!

I've been posting Cooking with Lenora segments on my Tumblr, but thought I'd go more in-depth today!

Today's instalment is extra special- with 100% more vintage lingerie!

Whatever shall we make today?

Today's dish is a sweet potato/mushroom/spinach/red onion curry pizza on a homemade gluten-free flax and garlic flat bread.

Today's outfit is a frilly pink vintage 1950s chiffon nightgown with matching robe. Today's apron is the same 50s pink chiffon number you've already seen ,but it matched my outfit too perfectly not to wear it again.

Today's cooking-companion cocktail is extra classy Jack n Ginger on the rocks, with cherries, served in a teacup-nothing says class like hard booze in a teacup. Vintage-sleaze naked lady cocktail pick for the cherries, of course.
Lets get started!!

sassy fatgirl in the kitchen-party time!


The flatbread-

I used Bulk-Barn’s gluten-free pizza dough flourmix , added ground flax, oregano, and lots of minced garlic.
One more photo of myself being domestic for good measure...

details-

2 ½ cups of flour mix
4 tbsp of ground flax
2 tsps each minched garlic, oregano and any other spices you’d like
Salt and pepper to taste.
4 eggs, beaten
1 ½ cups milk.

Combine dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients. Mix.

Get some dough on your face, and take a stupid picture. Very important.

Add to greased baking sheet. ( I covered my pan in tinfoil this time around, as this was the first time making this recipe, I didn’t want to ruin my new pans incase of failure )

Bake for 15 minutes while you prepare the topping for the pizza.

The sauce-

One small can tomato paste
2 tbsp. curry paste ( I used Patak’s extra spicy blend- you can use any curry blend you wish)
A few sprinkles of garlic powder , stir it up, et voila.


Once the flatbread is baked, smear on the sauce.

Toppings-
I used fresh baby spinach, chopped red onions, thinly sliced sweet potato, white mushrooms and a little sprinkle of grated parmesan( Not the powdery crap, the good stuff!)
I pealed and sliced the sweet potato and microwaved them for a minute or two between some paper towel, as well as the mushrooms before I added them to the pizza.





Assemble your delicious pizza masterpiece





Bake for an additional 15 minutes.

Drink your cocktail (or 2nd...or 3rd) while you're waiting.


Remove pizza from oven ( If you are tipsy by this stage ,please remember your oven mits...)

Slice and enjoy!!!

Stay tuned for more, folks. Hopefully Cooking with Lenora will be coming to YouTube soon!

Happy eating,

xo

Lenora

backpain solution= robot buttsex

Move over ShakeWeight, there is a new easily-misinterpreted-as-sexual “fitness” machine on the market- Back 2 Life backpain solution.

This lazy Sunday night finds me curled up on my couch watching Grease on television. One of the commercials that interrupted the movie had me running across the apartment for my laptop. I have been far too busy to blog lately, but how can I resist writing about a machine that looks like it is shagging you.



Ladies, gentlemen, undecided, in-between and non-labelists…. This is Back 2 Life. It is here to dish out some hot , gyrating, robotic passion the likes you have never seen.



Back Pain? No problem, it’ll hump that malaise right out of you.


Not only will you experience extreme robotic-pleasure (As illustrated in the photo below pulled from the commercial and tweaked a bit with my fantastic Microsoft Paint skills) but you will be able to play golf again, and lift children with unhealthy amounts of joy (As illustrated in the promotional Back2Life video on their website)





The television commercial was just fantastic. Elderly men in sweatpants laying on their backs, with expressions of shear ecstasy on their faces as a piece of plastic presses itself firmly, yet ever-so-gently, against their bottoms.

I tried to find the television commercial online to share with you, however my search was fruitless.The promo video on their website is equally entertaining, especially when they boast the product will make your muscles “supple”. Great word choice, perverts.

They also have ever-so-scientific looking schematics and re-enactments to describe the technology behind Back 2 Life, called “Continuous Passive Motion”….


As you can see, this just further illustrates how much using this product resembles being shagged by a robot.





As my search continues, I’ve found several infomercials on YouTube that are making me chuckle. My favourite being one that is hosted by former CNN reporter Bella Shaw, who opens the show with a flat-toned reporter voice - “I’m Bella Shaw and I know something about you”



This is about as far as I got into the informercial, before I decided to let this hilarious product and associated promotional materials speak for themselves without picking them apart further.

I had great intentions on writing a lengthy satirical jaunt apropos mechanical coitus -turned back-pain relief, however, I think the creators of Back 2 Life did a lovely job making a laughing-stock of their product all by themselves.

(Side note- truth be told, I’m exhausted and can’t type anymore before bed. I will blog soon with a catch-up on my life.)

Much love! XO

(You can check out the hilarious promotional video that properly illustrates the robot-humping here http://www.tryback2life.com/ and that Bella Shaw video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w__fHM0kuKg )

Parking-Lot-Camaraderie and feeling truly alive.

I feel I must write to you all. I can’t even bring you all up to date on my life before I can share this beautiful memory. That can come later. For now, I want to share this moment.

I’m looking out my hotel suite window, laying here on my newly-claimed-by-chance executive thrown. Unsure of everything yet feeling optimistic...some how I’ve tumbled into an alternate reality.

I’m looking out the window at a little group of men gathered around a big white truck. They are grey-haired, white-bearded and wearing fleurocent overhauls, with their favorite Canadian beer in hand. These men are fellow workers that my new employer has brought in from all over the East-Coast. This hotel is 90% fellow employees , doing a variation of jobs on one giant project. While I hold the operational management position , these vibrant men are the big , strong bones of this operation. The hard-working construction crews, and electricians. These men are how this company gets its money, how it stays afloat. These men are the ones deserving of the respect most management receive- management who’ve done no work the likes of what these men have seen.







The three currently sharing stories of homesickness over bouts of strong laughter drew me to say hello earlier, as I passed them. During the brief skip from my car, to the hotel door - I shared a moment with them. I juggled my Italian-takeout-dinner in my arms and giggled out a “You boy’s have the right idea!, while motioning down at the different six-packs of beer between all of their feet. I ask where they are from ,although their thick accents have already told me. These men call a varying spectrum of Atlantic areas home. Bathurst, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Cape Breton . These are real, small-town, down-to-earth men.

I could think of nothing else on the elevator ride up to my room but grabbing my camera and stealing a shot of these men through the window. I clicked a few memories, and jumped onto the huge kingsize bed where I’m currently typing away feverishly. Photographs weren’t enough. I had to write. Even now I can hear their laughter floating up through the window…their parking-lot camaraderie is touching and brings a smile to my face.

My dinner has long since gone cold sitting on the table. Reheated spaghetti while listening to the three far-from-home-friends laugh and tell stories? This night is wonderful. I want to remember this , always. This is what I needed this very moment to feel truly alive.

.....

I stepped away to have dinner before I actually posted this entry. I have also turned on the amazingly beautiful movie Dr. Zhivago, only to be sidetracked. I hear more laughter …louder still…I peak down to see the 3-man group has since grown.



I can’t help but sit here and watch the scenes unfold out the window. Now they are playing old Cape-Breton folk music out of one of their trucks. I feel like I’m watching the single most beautiful thing that the majority of the world lacks…..but I can’t quite put into words just what that is.